Simple Gifts

“I need to steal you away. We are about to be serenaded.”

Those were Dale’s words to me when the program was about to begin at the farewell dinner held at the Maennerchor on August 3rd. I broke away from one of many cherished conversations that night, I took Dale’s arm, and we stood together as Kathryn Hart Teixeira sang Simple Gifts.

‘Tis the gift to be simple, ‘tis the gift to be free. ‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be; and when we find ourselves in the place just right, ‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight. When true simplicity is gained, to bow and to be bend we shan’t be ashamed; to turn, turn will be our delight, till by turning, turning we come out right.

The tears came immediately. This was the song I selected for my processional when I married Dale in St. John’s sanctuary. Then, I had felt as though the words poignantly captured the delight brought to my life by our relationship and the growth I had experienced. Listening to these lyrics immediately brought to mind the fondness of that special day we celebrated with you. However, more so, I found myself listening to the song through the lens of my experience at St. John’s.

‘Tis the gift to be gentle, ‘tis the gift to be fair,’tis the gift to wake and breathe the morning air; and everyday to walk in the path we choose, ‘tis the gift we pray we may ne’er come to lose.

‘Tis the gift to be loving, ‘tis the best gift of all, Like a quiet rain, it blesses where it falls; and if we have the gift, we will truly believe ‘tis better to give than it is to receive.

When true simplicity is gained, to bow and to be bend we shan’t be ashamed; to turn, turn will be our delight, till by turning, turning we come out right.

With every turn over the past nine years, I have grown. You have helped me become a better pastor and a better person. I could write books about all we have done and experienced together, but it is really quite simple: we have loved one another. To love you, and to have been loved by you has been one of the great blessings of my life.

Yesterday I finished packing up my office. I left my keys on Bonnie’s desk and took a last stroll through the building. It was difficult to see things that needed to be done and know that I wouldn’t be the one sending emails or making calls to attend to them, nor would I be coming back to attend to other inevitable lose ends.

As I climbed the stairs to the Jack Davies lobby where I punched in my security code for the last time, the tears began to flow. Dale and Courtney were waiting for me in the parking lot, and we stood there holding one another and crying together for quite some time. I know you have rarely seen me shed a tear, but it feels important for me to let you know that there were plenty of them as I departed this place as your pastor.

The tears are tears of grief, but they are also tears of gratitude for each of you and all we have shared. Even more, they are tears that form a prayer. My prayer is that with every turn, you, too, are able to discover God’s most simple gifts, and help others do the same.

God be with you.

What a Week!

When I came in to the office this past Tuesday, the Tuesday Morning Team (headed up by Suzanne Kull) was quickly finishing their preparations for Wednesday’s Largest Table. The timing could not have been better because as they were finishing their work the sewer had just begun to back flow into the kitchen. Little did we know then what a challenge would ensue.

Bonnie quickly called Rescue Rooter and they were able to get a team out to help us about 4:00 p.m. Rescue Rooter called it a night about 10:00 p.m. and came back first thing the next morning, along with the company, PureClean, who we called in to clean and sanitize the kitchen. After both companies had worked for a couple of hours on Wednesday morning it became clear that we would not be able to serve the luncheon in Fellowship Hall that day. The clean up job had become massive and we still had not determined the exact source of the problem.

That Wednesday morning I experienced The Largest Table as I have never experienced it before. Not once did I hear words of frustration or irritation. “Let’s move it outside” one person said. “How great that we planned to have picnic food!” said another. The PureClean team sanitized a path through the kitchen so that we could cart out the food. The work table in the office was set up to prepare our usual dessert smorgasbord. Tables were taken outside and everyone seemed to take delight in the new set up. Two guests took me aside to express their gratitude for the meal taking place in spite of the challenges and uncertainty we were facing. I appreciated their kind remarks, but even as they said them I knew our volunteers had never even considered canceling.

By the end of Wednesday, we realized that we were facing much more than a stopped up drain. By then, Gary Baas, Mike Rangel and David Wolfe were all on board with their own questions, concerns, and expertise. Together, with Dallas from Rescue Rooter, Mike and Gary sought to determine the extent of the problem and the appropriate course of action. It was pretty much a non-stop investigation through Friday morning! As of this writing, we are still waiting on all of the bids but we know that the work is going to be extensive.

This past week’s lectionary reading was the story of Mary and Martha found in the gospel of Luke. Jesus criticizes Martha, who was hard at work in the kitchen, for being “distracted by many things.” Often this story is interpreted to suggest that Mary’s listening and attentiveness were “better” than Martha’s hard work. As I thought about this text and my experience of the people of St. John’s this week, I realized it was not Martha’s actions that Jesus was so concerned about, but rather her being so distracted.

I am especially grateful for the many people at St. John’s who when faced with a challenge are able to set aside differences, focus on the matter at hand, and get to work. Thanks for all you do!

When you don't know what to say ....

It is not often when I am at a loss for words.

However, I was at a loss for words this past Monday night after sharing with the Consistory my resignation as pastor of St. John's. What does one say at a time that is mixed with so many different emotions? As I scanned the room and looked into the eyes of so many different people I will miss, words escaped me.

I think that is why I haven't been blogging much these past few months - because I have been living with the possibility of a new position and all that entails, as well as the reality of the loss I will feel when I leave. Not only has it been a mix of feelings, but it has felt somewhat ingenuous to be blogging about my perceptions of ministry at St. John's without being forthright about where I am in regard to everything. I hope now that the news is out I can use this blog as a vehicle for sharing some of the things for which I am truly grateful @ 3rd & Mound.

Our Consistory meeting on Monday evening ended the way it always does. Our president invited us to stand, hold hands, and pray The Lord's Prayer. I thought about the many times I had prayed that very same prayer. Some times hastily, some times - like Monday - with a lump in my throat. When we don't know what to say, Jesus gives us the words ... "Our Father, who art in heaven ... "

What Tomorrow's Church Requires

This time last week the leadership of St. John's was meeting with David Schoen, Minister and Team Leader for the United Church of Christ. David spent time with us exploring what tomorrow's church will require. To help us get a sense of some of the cultural shifts that have been happening, he shared this video Did You Know? I have been thinking about these rapid cultural shifts as well as his presentation all week. We talked about the need for the church to be missional in purpose, relational in outreach, and conversational in witness.

Later in the week I had a couple of different conversations, each with individuals who question the role of the church in their lives and struggle with the strict dogma of the churches they grew up in. Their memory of the experience in their youth is a constant filter for how they interpret what the church is today. They are torn because while there are some things they feel as though they must reject, they are drawn to the community, to the mystery, and to the concrete acts of service of the church. I found myself saying, "I don't believe in the God you don't believe in either" and longing to be able to bear witness to all that I find is good and right and beautiful with the particular community of faith to which I serve and belong. And I thought again about how accurate David was in the challenges he raised for us.

On one level, meeting the needs of many generations in a rapidly changing society is overwhelming. We certainly cannot continue doing all of the same old things we have always been doing and expect that it will be satisfying, sufficient, or even faithful.

But it is also a hopeful time. Phyllis Tickle suggests that the church goes through a "rummage sale" every 500 years when it is able to keep what is helpful and get rid of what is not. We are certainly living through that time right now. On Thursday I began reading a new book by my colleague and friend, Phil Snyder. The book, Toward a Hopeful Future: Why the Emergent Church is Good News for Mainline Congregations is a breath of fresh air and I can't wait to keep reading.

Perhaps if there are enough us who are willing to stay with this "rummage sale" we will be able to be what the church requires for the future.

Samson

Today I am referring to my dog, not the Biblical character. Samson has been my companion for nearly thirteen years; however, when Dale and I were married seven years ago -Dale won Samson's heart as quickly as he won mine. When Dale is here, he tends to Samson's every need - which has been growing steadily over the past couple of years. As Samson has joined the senior ranks, his age is showing. His hearing is all but gone. His eyesight is obviously strained. His assortment of meds have become an important daily ritual. He barks more and more .. we wonder if it is because he can't hear himself!

When I have a day at home, it rarely passes without my taking a quick "refresher" nap. It used to be that Samson could anticipate my napping; he would race in front of me, and leap up on our bed to join me. Sometimes, if he wasn't paying attention, I would say, "Samson, come on! It's our favorite time of the day!" It has been nearly a year since he has been able to leap up on our bed, and so his interest in our "favorite time of the day" seems to have been waning.

This past weekend our home was unusually quiet; it was just Samson and me. I found myself paying more attention to his barking, and to the needs that were behind it. For several days in a row Samson started barking each time I laid down. This was after our walk. And after getting a treat, or two. Tired and ready to sleep, I was frustrated. We got up to go out again. There was more barking. I gave him yet another treat. There was more barking. Finally, it dawned on me: Samson wanted up on the bed! With a gentle scoop, I placed Samson on the end of the bed and he was perfectly content. The gentle scoop has become our new nighttime ritual.

I keep thinking about how often we must pacify those around us with "treats" because we fail to understand someones real need and desire. As humans, we have the advantage of speech but we often resort to our own forms of barking - irritability, unnecessary comments, withdrawal. Samson has inspired me to try to listen more closely to those who seem to be barking, and to try to articulate my needs more clearly to those I love.

Waking Up

I must confess I have conflicted feelings about my blackberry. Well, no, I actually like my blackberry very much, but I have become increasingly sensitive to how my blackberry (or, rather my looking at it and using it) can be a distraction to personal relationships. A friend and I were out with our two sons this past week and we (my friend and I) both reached for our blackberries at some point in the conversation to google the topic of conversation. Our boys immediately picked up on the fact that their mothers were using their phones during dinner! I was embarrassed. My husband is great about leaving his phone at home when we go out for a date, but I can’t do that. I protest that I can’t leave it behind .. someone might need me, but then I have been quick to pick up for something that I know is not an emergency. It is hard for me to just let the phone ring or press “ignore.”

I will continue to struggle with appropriate blackberry etiquette, but I have discovered one wonderful thing about the blackberry: I can wake up and reach over to receive some daily inspiration before I ever get out of bed in the morning. After I have pressed the snooze once or twice, my groggy hands reach out for my phone and I fumble at the keys to read three emails that are sent in the very early morning hours every day. I only have to have my eyes open to enter this spiritual discipline. It is a great way to wake up in the morning … I think of it as simmering time – those moments when I am awake but not at full boil: a perfect time to reflect and ponder.

Here are the sites that shoot me a morning email:

http://www.gratefulness.org/

http://i.ucc.org/FeedYourSpirit/Subscribe/tabid/101/Default.aspx

http://www.cacradicalgrace.org/getconnected/subscribe.php

Made Whole

What if we weren’t alone after all?

What if you were really a fragment of a

Great and glorious mind

Like an individual wave

Is part of the magnificent ocean?

Then anything would be possible.

This poem, by Joan Borysenko, captured my feeling as I left our Service for Healing of Body, Mind and Spirit yesterday. During the service everyone had the opportunity to write prayer concerns that were then shared during an intercessory prayer at the end of the service. The mounting of concerns – Haiti, cancer, marital difficulties, financial concerns, and more – could have been overwhelming to some, but I experienced it differently. As I watched person after person bring forward their concerns, and I had the honor of giving them voice, I was reminded of how every single person faces challenges. Every single person present had something weighing on his or her heart. Often we bear these burdens silently, but yesterday we named them out loud, and I felt us pulling together. Through this process, I felt a deeper connection with all who were present. I also felt a sense of hopefulness that God will help bring us through our personal and collective trials and make us stronger.

As I prepared for this healing service I was very aware that there were some people in our midst who were praying for cures so that they might be made well. I share in their hope and prayer, but I also have found myself reflecting on what it means to be well, what it means to be “made whole.” As I looked out on the congregation I saw persons who are filled with vitality, creativity, and a love for life who happen to have a disability. I saw persons who move a little more slowly and need to have some things repeated every so often because they are losing their hearing, but whose very lives embody love and wisdom. I saw persons who live with cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and Parkinson’s who exude an inner peace and a reverence for life that bears witness to the living Christ within them.

My favorite communion chalice is a cup that appears as though it was broken and put back together again. For me, it resembles not only what happened with Jesus but happens with all of us. God welcomes and loves us, however it is that we are; God takes all of the broken pieces, nurturing and shaping us into something that is perfectly whole and all the more beautiful. Today, I am giving thanks for all of the people who make up this community of faith, who through sharing their brokenness as well as their strengths, make a beautiful whole.